Members of local sludge-punk outfit Mildew Prophet are reportedly baffled as to why their latest album, Damp Prophecies, hasn’t become a breakout hit, despite their strategic marketing efforts—which primarily involved placing band stickers on urinals at their favorite dive bars.

“We figured it was just a matter of time before word spread,” said bassist and part-time bar-back Todd Daniels. “I mean, every dude who goes in there to take a piss has to see our name. That’s like, what, hundreds of potential fans a week?”

The band has expressed growing frustration that their grassroots marketing scheme hasn’t resulted in immediate fame. “It worked for other bands, right?” asked drummer Kyle Munroe, who admitted he wasn’t sure if it actually had, but felt confident in the logic. “Some guy once told me Nirvana got big through word of mouth. We’re basically doing the same thing, except our word of mouth is more of a ‘word of pee.’”

Guitarist and lead vocalist Derek Finch added that their promotional budget, totaling $12.79, had been carefully allocated to the sticker initiative, foregoing traditional avenues such as social media presence, live performances, or even telling people they had an album out. “It’s like, if they see the sticker, the intrigue will make them look us up,” Finch explained. “And if not, they’re probably just not true music fans.”

Local bar regulars, however, seem to have barely noticed the sticker. “Oh, that’s a band? I thought it was some weird anti-smoking PSA,” said frequent patron Ronnie Blanchard. “I usually just try to see if my piss will peel the sticker off.”

Despite the lack of tangible results, Mildew Prophet remains optimistic. “Maybe we just need to put more stickers in other bathrooms,” Daniels said. “We’re thinking gas stations, truck stops, or maybe even that one toilet at the record store that barely flushes.”

At press time, the band was considering that they might need to take the drastic step of actually playing live shows.