In an unexpected appearance at local stoner metal festival “Fuzzfest 2025,” former US President Joe Biden was reportedly seen enjoying retirement and enthusiastically attending his first ever stoner metal concert — only to spend the majority of the headliner’s set passionately arguing with a bright Orange amplifier he apparently mistook for President Donald Trump.
Eyewitnesses say Biden wandered onto the side of the stage during popular doom band, Wandering Buffoon’s set, paused, pointed at a massive Orange amplifier stack, and shouted, “Listen here, Jack, you’ve had your turn. Let the people doom in peace!”
Security initially prepared to intervene, thinking the former President was in danger, but quickly realized he was just engaged in an animated one-sided debate with the amp.
“It was honestly kind of moving,” said festival attendee Crystal Greaves. “He was wagging his finger and yelling about democracy while the amp just sat there buzzing. I think at one point he challenged it to a push-up contest.”
A confused but polite band member backstage reportedly offered the President a joint to mellow out, but Biden declined, stating, “I already had a little of that jazz cabbage in ’72, son. I saw a lava lamp talk to me for three days. That was enough. My days of talking to inanimate objects are over!”
Former Vice President Kamala Harris later commented on the incident, stating, “Look, when you are at a doom show, and you see an Orange amp, what you’re really seeing is the amplification of our collective journey through sound and time… and also possibly a US president, depending on your perspective. The amp, amplifies, and things are loud, and if things are loud, they have been amplified. And that’s really special.”
Biden’s staff later issued a statement clarifying that the former President had “greatly enjoyed the music, appreciated the democratic community of riff-worshippers,” and was “grateful the Orange amp didn’t talk back, which meant he finally won an argument.” They went on, “It was an honest mistake anyone could have made. The orange of President Trump’s skin is eerily similar to the amp.”
Meanwhile, the amp in question has since been unofficially renamed “The President” by the band’s road crew, who claim it now “delivers tone with executive authority.”
At press time, Biden was seen leaving the venue muttering about “invading the desert to find the Kyuss” and asking if the fuzz pedals came with Social Security benefits.
