In a classic case of misunderstanding the modern digital age, doom metal legend and Pentagram frontman Bobby Liebling was recently informed that a video of him had “gone viral”—prompting immediate panic as he issued an unsolicited apology for his decades-long history of, as he put it, “being way too generous with syringes.”

The confusion began when a well-meaning fan excitedly told Liebling that a backstage interview clip of him had exploded in popularity online. Witnesses say Liebling turned pale and started mumbling, “Man, I swear, that was a different time… I thought we were all cool with that back then.”

“I knew my past would catch up with me,” Liebling added, visibly shaken. “I mean, I’ve made some mistakes, but I didn’t think anyone was still keeping track. I was just trying to be communal, you know?”

Attempts to clarify that “going viral” referred to the video, not a literal viral outbreak, did little to calm the doom metal icon. “Wait… so you’re saying the video itself is the one with the infection? Should I get tested anyway?” he asked reporters, sweating profusely.

Fans and friends quickly intervened to explain that his newfound internet fame was actually a positive thing. “Bobby, it just means people are really into the video,” said one roadie. “You didn’t give anyone Hepatitis this time. You’re trending, man!”

Despite his relief, Liebling has since vowed to be more responsible with both his public image and his personal hygiene. “I guess times have changed,” he admitted. “Back in the day, ‘viral’ meant you were on antibiotics for a month. Now it means kids on the internet think you’re funny.”