In what was meant to be a display of musical preparedness, doom band Endless Dirge set out on tour with their entire CD collection in tow, only to realize they’re still on the very first track nearly two states later.

The journey began in Portland, Oregon, with the band loading up their van with an estimated 500 CDs, ensuring a variety of tunes to keep them entertained on the long road ahead. However, as of their last check-in—somewhere in rural Nevada—they are still listening to track one: The Abyss Beckons, the first song off Funeral Reverie’s latest release.

“We figured we’d need a lot of music to make it through the long drives,” said drummer Malachi Thorne. “But then we forgot doom metal songs are basically geological events. We haven’t even hit the first tempo shift yet.”

The revelation struck particularly hard for lead guitarist and designated driver Xavier Grieve. “I was hoping to mix things up with some death metal or stoner rock, but we’ve been stuck in the same dirge for about six hours now,” he lamented. “I think I heard the bassist hit a new note about 20 miles back, but I might have been hallucinating.”

Despite the monotony, bassist Lucius Dread sees the experience as a testament to doom’s immersive power. “Doom isn’t just about music—it’s about endurance. It forces you to sit with the crushing weight of existence, much like this highway that never ends.”

Sources confirm that the band still has 499 CDs left to go, but at this rate, they may never hear them. The band’s next scheduled stop is in Austin, Texas, where experts predict they will still be working through The Abyss Beckons’ final feedback-laden outro by the time they arrive.

Meanwhile, a rival doom band, Languish Eternal, reportedly left for tour with only one album in their possession: Monolith of Sorrow, a double-LP featuring a single, two-hour-long song. They remain confident they’ll never need another track.